What does "being a mom" mean?

Having recently celebrated my first Mother's Day, I decided to reflect on what "being a mom" means to me. As a new mom, every day I learn a little more about what "being a mom" really means. Although I'm no expert, here are some things I have learned so far...

1. Being a mom means being SELFLESS.
Once your little bundle of joy enters the world, life isn't ALL about you anymore. That is not to say that I think once you become a mom you should no longer make yourself a priority. In fact, I think taking care of yourself is very important because at the end of the day if you do not take care of yourself how can you take good care of your little one(s)? Rather, what I do mean is that once you're a mom you can't JUST take care of or think about your needs. Motherhood entails making sacrifices for the benefit of your kid(s). The sacrifices can be small such as giving up time to watch your favorite TV show to spend time with your little one (after all, the beauty of DVR is that you can always watch it later) OR big such as choosing to remove someone from your/their life that you know could bring them heartache. Above all, being a mom means putting your kid's needs first and concerning yourself with making decisions that are not only in your best interest, but most importantly in theirs. I'm not going to pretend that this way of life is a piece of cake. Being selfless is definitely easier said than done, but I think the benefits my daughter can reap from me approaching motherhood with a selfless attitude will far outweigh the costs of what I will have to sacrifice.

2. Being a mom means being RESTLESS.
Motherhood is very rewarding, but lets be honest...you can't deny it is tiring work. Whether your kids are babies that require feedings every three hours, diaper changes in between, and constant entertaining (like my little ball of energy) OR your kids are older and need help with homework or transportation to extracurricular activities, there isn’t a lot of downtime in the life of a mom. Life can get pretty busy. Ever since I returned to work,  finding downtime has been even more challenging than it already was because when I get home all I want to do is spend as much time with my little one as I can before she goes to bed. In turn, that means I postpone all of my chores until later. Luckily, I have an amazing support system that helps me with many of these household duties so that I can dedicate more time to my baby, but even so there's always something to do. Thankfully, my little one is a pretty good sleeper, so when she is finally sleeping I take advantage and use that time to try and finish off my chores around the house or catch up on my blogs. However, sometimes I'm so exhausted I simply put my feet up, relax, and watch some TV or just plain fall asleep.

3. Being a mom means being WORRIED. 
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I began to worry. Throughout my pregnancy, I also worried. Why is she moving so much? Why isn't she moving enough? Was it okay to eat that? etc. Now that my little one is here, the worrying continues. Like many moms out there, I only want what is best for my daughter and want her to be happy and healthy at all times. That means I often worry at the sign of anything. I worry when she starts to feel warm, gets a cough, sneezes, gets a rash, sleeps too short/long, doesn't eat all of her food, doesn't drink "enough" milk or water, etc. The list goes on and on. Sometimes it may just be new mom craziness (lack of knowledge or experience), but I know that once you're a mom the worrying never ends. I used to see my grandma worry about my mom and us all the time and to this day I still call my mom every time I get to work and get home from work to let her know I arrived safely so she won't be a nervous wreck. As a teenager I used to find it bothersome, but now I get it. The worry comes from a place of love and I appreciate that she cares enough to worry. 

4. Being a mom means being a MULTITASKER.
Mothers wear many hats in their every day lives. Not only are mothers "moms", but many are also wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, employees, volunteers, caregivers, etc. and with each of these roles are a slew of responsibilities attached. As I mentioned earlier, I'm still learning how to try and effectively balance it all together.  Who knows, maybe I'll never perfect it, but I'm going to try my best to figure out how to make it all work for me. I feel that oftentimes us moms put a lot of pressure on ourselves (myself included) to get everything we need to do done and do it perfectly, but what I'm slowly learning, despite my Type-A craziness, is that there is no "perfect" and sometimes it's okay to put things off. Not everything has to be done in ONE day. There are some essential tasks that need to get done, but there are other minor ones that can wait. The dishes can wait to be unloaded from the dishwasher and the laundry can always be folded the next day. Too busy to cook dinner? Take-out or food for delivery is always an option. It's all about prioritizing what MUST be done and what CAN be done. I've also learned not to be afraid to ask for help. I am lucky to have amazing parents that will drop whatever they're doing to help me out when I am struggling to get it all done. I know that is not the case for everyone, but there are always other family members or friends that may be willing to lend a helping hand if you need one. Simply ask. At the end of the day, you aren't any less of a mom if you ask for other's help.

5. Being a mom means being an EXAMPLE.
As young as months old, children watch and imitate the actions of their parents. They look up to them and want to be like them. That being the case, I feel that it is important to be someone worthy of imitating. I strongly believe that "actions speak louder than words" and therefore feel that being a good example to your kid(s) is one of the most powerful ways to help raise them into the kind of person you hope they will be. I can't promise there won't be days where I won't say or do the wrong thing because I am HUMAN. I recognize that I am going to make mistakes along the way, and that is OKAY. In fact, I think it's important for kids to see that we as adults are not perfect. It's an opportunity for us to teach them that they can use mistakes to learn and grow. However, I am going to strive to show my daughter an example that teaches her to be a compassionate, ambitious, and humble human being. I pray that I can raise her to be a beautiful person.

Overall, being a mom is PRICELESS. The sacrifices, exhaustion, worry, and responsibility are all worth the precious moments and love of your child. I look at my daughter every so often and still can't believe how lucky I am to have been blessed with such a wonderful gift. I cherish being a mother, HER mother, and wouldn't trade it for the world. Each day I try to take in as much as I can because as I have come to realize, time passes by way too quickly. In the blink of an eye, 8 months have passed since I met my little cupcake, and before I know it, her 1st birthday will be here. As much as I hope time slows down a little, I greatly look forward to all of the adventures and memories that are to come.

Thank you for sticking around to read what "being a mom" means to me. I would love to hear what "being a mom" means to you. Feel free to comment below.

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1 comment

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